Joke Thread

Recently received an email from a friend (pardon to the ladies)

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Send to the men who need a laugh

and the women with a good sense

of humor.


1. When I was born, I was given a choice

A big dick or a good memory..

I don't remember, what I chose.


2. Your birth certificate is an apology

letter from the condom factory.


3. A wife is a sex object.

Every time you ask for sex, she objects.


4. Impotence:

Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings.'


5. There are only two four letter words

that are offensive to men.

'Don't' and 'Stop', unless they are used together.


6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth,

but next to the best thing on earth.


7. There are three stages of sex in a

man's life:

Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.


8. Virginity can be cured.


9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.


10. Having sex is like playing bridge.

If you don't have a good partner,

you'd better have a good hand.


11. I tried phone sex once, but the

holes in the dialer were too small.


12. Marriage is the only war where

you get to sleep with the enemy.


13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss,
only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy

with the whole thing.

He was happy with the Hole and she

was happy with the Thing......


15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.


16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.


17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives ! !